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'Beef' EP

by The Chickpea Darlings

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1.
Words: You’re not going to stay together Just scrape away the glue All that’s left’s an act of Faith And she’s not really into you But hang on, girls, here’s Captain Yeats Erasing history Scribbling out your awkward pauses Those inconsistent memories It’s like the Dalai Lama taught you nothing but mah-jongg Can I get a signal, sister? Are we wired up wrong? And while a nation grieves He’s read it in your tea leaves Guess he saw right through you all along That you’re not going to stay together Krishnan said so on the news Predicting your disintegration In God’s psychic centrifuge All your shy, bewildered atoms Flung off round the universe Some of you in Coney Island Some of you in Dungeness And it feels like Margaret Atwood gave you nothing but her ’flu Do you hear the pages bleeding out? You turning blue? Chapter two, you lose the plot Read one, you’ve read the bloody lot No last-page rapprochemonts for you There’s been some karmic admin error Now you’re not going to stay together It’s like Leonardo gave you only half a smile We could’ve been titanic, sugar; gone down in style Don’t know how you’re going to cope No friendly hand to raise the velvet rope No way to vault that great divide You’re not going to live forever And you’re not going to stay together No
2.
Words: By the time I quit the priesthood, I pray your sickness is long gone Don’t you listen to that sickness; don’t you two get along Talulah, here, still needs you; needs you more than air Naming her emotions; advice on how to cut her hair If Sister Edie taught us anything, it’s try to be concise So why write an opera when a pop song will suffice? So kiss it off, it’s not forever Just kiss it off, it’s just another stupid year Kiss it off, you’re young and clever A little too clever, I fear Talulah sends you poppies, your medicine, some magazines A breath of intercession, a touch too soft to be perceived A voice that’s cut from sunlight, words that taste of blood The tiny heart-shaped hand grenade that bursts the dam of love Talulah hears you sometimes, praying in the dark Slender as a saline drip ’cos you eat only art And she says Kiss it off, it’s not forever Just kiss it off, this is just another stupid year You’ll work it out, you’re young and clever A little too clever, I fear Yes, kiss this off, it’s not forever Just kiss it off, it’s just another wasted year You’ll work it out, you’re young and clever Maybe little too clever, I fear Just a little too clever
3.
Words: The thing about lions What you don’t know can’t do no harm The thing about lions Geneva’s like my second home The thing about lions A Volkswagen’s the cut-off ride The thing about lions You’re worthless if you’ve got no pride I’ll call you Davey if I may Just need to set the record straight From the Valley Of The Kings Through Kazakhstan on to Beijing Never had much time for school But it’s crazy what those kids can do They won’t touch you if you’re with me It costs a fortune to be free You see, the thing about lions They don’t turn down a photograph The thing about lions You can stretch right out with the seat pushed back The thing about lions That shit don’t help my roses grow The thing about lions Just one more thing before you go I’d say I had ADHD If I didn’t spent so much time asleep Hey, are you recording this? Insurance? That’s for pessimists And I don’t care what the brochure says I need exotic meats, cathode rays And yes, I know I’m truly loved But Davey, that’s just not enough Because the thing about lions Well, they like to lie down with the lamb The thing about lions They’re far more into songs than bands The thing about lions Don’t mean to keep you in your place The thing about lions You can see my house from space Three good emotions is enough for anybody Any more than five and you’ll just spend a lifetime saying sorry But the thing about lions We all get hungry when we’re bored And the thing about lifetimes They’re less fun with a safety word What’s the safety word? Christ, what was that safety word? Was it something like ‘decency’ or ‘bacon’ or ‘scooch’ or ‘fudge’ or ‘Early Grey’ or ‘Barcelona’..? The thing about lions Well, they know a lion who knows a lion And the thing about lions Lie down, play dead, and you’ll be fine
4.
Words: Your hungry ghosts Your hungry ghosts When I coalesced from chaos A billion years BC I could scarce imagine What you held in store for me I cast off my reptile mantle I circled high above First I invented cigarettes Then I invented love It was s’posed to be a joke But somehow it caught on But I’d never have invented sex If you’d been more articulate And I’d found some way of getting to The Buddhist shrine inside of you And I’d never have invented death If you’d just played nicely with yourself But that was something you were never going to do Your hungry ghosts Your hungry ghosts You lick Cointreau from your fingertips The library ablaze From Southwold Pier to paradise Every face erased Distilling sweet amnesia A billion hungry ghosts You bleached out nostalgia Pulled the plug on hope You said it was a gesture But somehow it caught on But I’d never have invented sex If I’d been more articulate And I’d found some way of getting through The mussel shell inside of you And I’d never have invented death If you’d just played nicely with yourself But that was something you were never going to do Something you were never, ever going to do Something you were never, ever going to do So your happiness is my concern no more Your outré dress is my concern no more Your big sister pose is my concern no more Your deathless prose is my concern no more Your immune response is my concern no more Your claim to France is my concern no more And your careless laugh is my concern no more And your pet giraffe, she’s my concern no more And your hungry ghosts And your hungry ghosts And your hungry ghosts...

about

The Darlings' 'Beef' EP - four songs mostly expressing a growing disquiet at The Way It's All Going ('badly - really badly'). Doesn't really seem the time or place for wistful, keening wee tales of doomed romance, does it..? (Even in Letchworth Garden City, the undisputed International Captial Of Love... where it's always bedtime and the jangly guitar still reigns supreme...).

No need to pay for this, anyway... the Chickpea Darlings/Spanish Amanda 'free at the point of delivery' policy (borrowed from our dear old NHS) stands firm in the face of global apocalypse, social collapse and 'every sentient entity for themselves' running-for-the-hills - EXCEPT if you fall into one of the following categories:

i) Tory politician (at any level - local councillor up to Prime Minister, we've really given up trying to draw a meaningful distinction)
ii) Confirmed Brexiteer (accept it - it was a really, really bad idea)
iii) President of Russia
iv) Shareholder in a formerly publicly-owned UK utility company (rail, water, power...)
v) Laurence bloody Fox

YOU lot have to pay... although we have every suspicion that you're unlikely to be CPD fans in any case. Everyone else - come on in, the water's lovely..!!

Huw, Jo, Ivan, Fred xxxxx

credits

released August 4, 2023

Songs by Jo and Huw Darling, recorded with Ivan and Freddy 'T' Bear on the JJ Sefton Memorial Mobile in LGC.

PS - The new Spanish Amanda EP ('Money Makes You Stupid') releases on the 11th August - trust us, you'll absolutely love it, and you can find it here: thespanishamanda.bandcamp.com

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The Chickpea Darlings Letchworth Garden City, UK

'Riot' has OFFICIALLY left the building. Thanks, Darrin.

The Darlings: Middle-aged bedroom miserablists with C86-ish tendencies, The Chickpea Darlings have seen the future and don't care for the cut of its jib. Their dry-as-a-biscuit pop vignettes provide the perfect soundtrack for speculating on the madness to come. Viva Donald Trump, global warming & the death of democracy. Viva the Darlings. ... more

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