Please Don't Touch The Walrus Or Sit On The Iceberg

from Bitter Lemon by The Chickpea Darlings

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about

This is (by some years) the oldest song on the record, written following a visit to the rather wonderful (and fantastically lewd-sounding) Horniman Museum. Inscribed on a tiny cardboard sign next to one of the exhibits (a taxidermied marine mammal... you can guess which), the words: "Please don't touch the walrus or sit on the iceberg". Hard to resist, really.

lyrics

Words:

Please don’t touch the walrus
Or sit on the iceberg
See the girth of the tusk
And the glittering slush
And keep your hands to yourself
They say we’re all made
From the same filth and clay
But you just feel different
So tragic and gifted
Can’t imagine your death

Fundamentally flawed
Temperamentally bored
Existentially yours
And out of my face
Too many miles on the clock
Gone off half-cocked
Dethroned and defrocked
And going to waste

Could be that there is comet
And it’s got your name on it
The punishment’s fine
Keeps the bad boys in line
It’s their passport to heaven
But if there’s no karma
Maybe God’s got amnesia
He’s wiped the slate clean
For everyone
For ever and ever

Fundamentally flawed
Temperamentally bored
Existentially yours
And out of His face
Too many miles on the clock
Gone off half-cocked
Dethroned and defrocked
And going to waste
And going to waste
And going to waste

Looks like you’ve caught a stray shot
And the claret won’t clot
But sometimes the wine
That rots on the vine
Is the one that tastes sweetest
And as they lower you down
Into the indolent ground
Don’t let the laughter of Freud
In that beckoning void
Make you feel defeatist

Fundamentally flawed
Temperamentally bored
Existentially yours
And out of my face
Too many miles on the clock
Gone off half-cocked
Dethroned and defrocked
And going to waste
And going to waste

So please don’t touch the walrus
No, please don’t touch the walrus
Or sit on the iceberg
Please don’t touch the walrus
Or sit on the iceberg
Don’t sit on the iceberg
No, don’t sit on the iceberg...

credits

from Bitter Lemon, released October 2, 2020
Written by Huw Darling and Jo Darling.

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The Chickpea Darlings Letchworth Garden City, UK

'Riot' has OFFICIALLY left the building. Thanks, Darrin.

The Darlings: Middle-aged bedroom miserablists with C86-ish tendencies, The Chickpea Darlings have seen the future and don't care for the cut of its jib. Their dry-as-a-biscuit pop vignettes provide the perfect soundtrack for speculating on the madness to come. Viva Donald Trump, global warming & the death of democracy. Viva the Darlings. ... more

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